Karl Childers (slingblade) wrote,
Karl Childers
slingblade

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some movie

They played some video tapes fer us yesterday. I reckon we must've spent the whole day watching this thing. It were about this feller made out of gold and this other little feller who looked like a trashbasket. They were on some kind of spaceship or something or other.

Then this other feller shows up, dressed in black. He come in with these fellers in white and they're a'shootin and a'blastin. I reckon that part confused me a fair bit.

Then the gold feller and the trashbasket went down to this desert. they had themselves a fight and then decided to not be friends anymore. I reckon that made me right sad.

Then these nasty little fellers wrapped up in blankets went and kidnapped that trashcan man. I don't reckon I remember what happened next.

Something happened where this young kid and this elderly feller go to this tavern. They meet up with this feller who I reckon put off the elderly feller, because he went an cut the feller's arm off with a flashlite. I reckon that part confused me a fair bit.

Then they all met this feller. I reckon he was a pretty big feller and he were all covered in hair like a big dog. I reckon he was a bigfoot.

The bigfoot and the kid and the elderly feller an the golden feller and the trashbasket go off with this other feller who is some kind of truckdriver or something or other. I reckon I went to the toilet during that part. I found me a magazine in the bathroom. I reckon I spent a half hour or an hour or ten minutes reading it. It were mighty interesting.

When I came back this one feller was choking on something and that other feller dressed in black was trying to catch a bug or something. I don't reckon that made much sense to me. Usually I use a fly swatter if I want to kill me a bug.

Then that kid went and found himself a pretty girl. I reckon he was keen on her. Then some other things happened what I don't remember. Then what that feller dressed in black did was use his flashlight and hit that elderly feller upside his head with it. I reckon it took his head clean off. That feller in black aint too good of a man.

Then I reckon there were some kind of outter space fight. I don't reckon I was too interested in that.

At this point I reckon it were snack time. I had me one of them tasty oatmeal cream pies. I reckon it suited me just fine. I reckon that somninabitch Walter Edmons went and tried to steal my carton of milk. That somninabitch loves milk and I reckon I woulda given er to em if he'da asked, but I don't reckon he ort to try and steal it. The good book says that Thou Art Not To Steal. I reckon that when I knocked him upside his head with my rolled up magazine I saved him from a eternal damnation in Hades. Some folks call it hell, but I call it Hades. I don't think it says nothing in the good book about knocking fellers upside the head with rolled up magazines. I reckon the good lord leaves those sorts of dealings to the local authorities. Not a whole lot they can do to me now, I reckon... me being in the nervous hospital already.

When we came back from our snack, that movie were still goin. I reckon that boy found his way into a swamp. I reckon I spent some time in a few swamps when I was a boy, chasing frogs and whatnot. I don't never hurt them frogs. Jest look at em.

Well that boy found him a frog. He were a big talkin frog wearing a bathrobe. I don't reckon I ever seen anything like that in any of the swamps I visited when I was a boy. I don't reckon I've seen anything like that et'all.

That frog went and taught that boy how to do magic tricks, and I reckon that was mighty interesting. I t'aint never been much for magic tricks myself. I reckon I tried to lift up the rec-room couch with out using my hands. I reckon that didn't fair too well. I reckon I couldn't budge it. Well, I just seen red. I reckon that made me madder than anything. I went and pushed over that couch with my hands. I reckon I took that Cheswick feller and that McMurphy feller over with it. I reckon that made them mighty mad. That McMurphy was hollerin at me something fierce. He were saying "Damn you Karl! Damn you, you crazy retard!"

I reckon that hurt my feelings. I reckon that's when I gave up on the magic tricks. That kind of stuff is for Lucifer anyway. I don't reckon I'm bitter about it. Not one bit.

When I stared watching that movie again, that feller dressed in black had that boy out on this walkway. I reckon that boy was mighty upset. He were cryin and fussin. I reckon I wanted to slap him upside his head. That feller in black was talking some nonsense about the universe. I don't reckon I understood most of that. But then that feller took his flashlight and went and cut off that boy's hand. I reckon that were a right wrong thing to do. He shouldn't'a notta done that to em. He were just a boy.

Then that one feller who's friends with that bigfoot feller, he got himself stuck in some concrete. I reckon that made me laugh. Reminded me of cartoons.

Then there were some things that I don't entirely recollect. I reckon that's for the better.

I remember that there was this one feller. He were mighty fat. I reckon he must've weighed over three hundred pounds. He were so fat he looked like a slug. That golden feller and that pretty girl and that trashcan man were hanging around. I reckon I don't know why they were there. Then that boy showed up and he had a new hand. I don't reckon I understand how. That pretty girl weren't wearin no clothes. I reckon that embarrassed me a fair bit.

Then that boy went and got all them fellers out of that place and I reckon they blew it up. That feller in the concrete knocked this other feller into this hole in the ground. I reckon that weren't no normal hole in the ground. There were snakes in it. I reckon that I wouldn't want to sleep in that hole. I reckon I'd just assume sleep in a tree instead. That feller in the concrete and that bigfoot helped this colored feller climb out the hole with the snakes. I reckon that was the Christian thing to do. Especially after knocking that first feller in. I reckon this all took place in a desert of some sort. I reckon I ain't never been to no desert. I reckon it were New Mexico or Arizona or one of them places. I don't got no call to go there anyway. Not especially with so many snakes. I don't reckon I think much of snakes. I don't reckon they think much of me either.

Then that boy went back to the swamp where he met that frog again. That part went and bored me. I went to the toilet again even though I didn't need to use it. I just set there and read my magazine again. There were this one part in the magazine where ye had to look at one picture and then another picture and figured out what's the difference between em. I reckon that kept me right entertained for some time.

When I come out of the toilet, I reckon that movie were almost over. Probably better. I reckon we'd been settin there watching er for onto six hours. I reckon my bottom was mighty sore from too much settin.

When I set back down, I reckon that boy, that bigfoot, that golden feller and that trashcan and that truckdriver feller who was in the concrete, they were all out in the woods. I reckon that's a right nice place to be. That part made me mighty happy. I reckon it would have been better had them woods not been overrun with crazy dogs. I don't reckon I'd want to be in a forest that had so many dogs in it. I reckon that'd make me mighty nervous.

I don't reckon I understood the rest of the movie much. I reckon I didn't really care. It were getting close to six and I reckon that Raymond feller would be wanting to watch his Wheel of Fortune show. I reckon that movie would have to come off anyways, or that Raymond would throw himself a fit. I don't reckon I like that Raymond feller. One time I whapped him upside his head with my magazine and I reckon he started screaming like no account. I reckon I ran outta there mighty fast. I didn't want to lose my biscuits and mustard fer the evening. I reckon that Raymond makes me right made when I look at him. That's why I go back in the toilet when he comes down from his room.
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