I forgot about my internet journal. I reckon it gets hard to remember when that raymond feller keeps replacin all of my favorites with the wheel of fortune website. I reckon that makes me a might bit mad.
I seen him do it the other day. He were just sittin there at the computer, an he kept hit "add to favorites" over and over and sayin to himself "wheel... of.... fortune!" an whompin himself in the head. I reckon I felt like helpin him with the whompin, but I reckon they woulda made me sit in the quiet room.
I found myself outside today. I reckon it were rainin mighty hard. I weren't doin anything. Just settin there. That orderly feller Donnie came upta me and I reckon he were mighty confused, because he hollered at me "hey! You Karl! What're you doin out in the rain?" and I reckon I didnt know what to tell him, so I kept on just lookin at my shoes. I reckon that confused him a fairbit. He came out and he pulled me in by my arm and I coulda fought him but I reckon I was gettin a fair bit cold so it were probably better I should come in anyhow.
Last week we had ourselves our anual talent contest. I usually don't associate myself with those types of things, cause I reckon they make me a might bit nervous. But Doctor Denny told me that he reckoned it might help me feel better about myself or something, so i reckon I didn't feel like arguing with him.
I reckon that me and three other fellers were up to sing a song. But when it came time to sing the other fellers just pretended to play the git-tar and left me to do all the singin. That's how these things usually go. Everyone leaves things to old Karl to take care of. I reckon that aint fair, but I reckon that's how it is. So I stood up on the stage, just as nervous as could be, and I reckon I had on my wig and my ripped tshirt and I recon that tape were playin.
So I started singin it. I reckon I sang pretty good all things considered, because people went on hollerin and clapping and whatnot.
The song went something like this:
Welcome to the jungle, errhmm We got fun and games, errhmmm We got everything ye want, errhmmm I reckon we know the names.
Ye know where you are? I reckon you're in the jungle, errhmm. I reckon you're gonna die, cause I aim to kill ye.
Now I'm a might bit nervous thinking about that. I reckon I'm gonna go have some milk and a nap.
They played some video tapes fer us yesterday. I reckon we must've spent the whole day watching this thing. It were about this feller made out of gold and this other little feller who looked like a trashbasket. They were on some kind of spaceship or something or other.
Then this other feller shows up, dressed in black. He come in with these fellers in white and they're a'shootin and a'blastin. I reckon that part confused me a fair bit.
Then the gold feller and the trashbasket went down to this desert. they had themselves a fight and then decided to not be friends anymore. I reckon that made me right sad.
Then these nasty little fellers wrapped up in blankets went and kidnapped that trashcan man. I don't reckon I remember what happened next.
Something happened where this young kid and this elderly feller go to this tavern. They meet up with this feller who I reckon put off the elderly feller, because he went an cut the feller's arm off with a flashlite. I reckon that part confused me a fair bit.
Then they all met this feller. I reckon he was a pretty big feller and he were all covered in hair like a big dog. I reckon he was a bigfoot.
The bigfoot and the kid and the elderly feller an the golden feller and the trashbasket go off with this other feller who is some kind of truckdriver or something or other. I reckon I went to the toilet during that part. I found me a magazine in the bathroom. I reckon I spent a half hour or an hour or ten minutes reading it. It were mighty interesting.
When I came back this one feller was choking on something and that other feller dressed in black was trying to catch a bug or something. I don't reckon that made much sense to me. Usually I use a fly swatter if I want to kill me a bug.
Then that kid went and found himself a pretty girl. I reckon he was keen on her. Then some other things happened what I don't remember. Then what that feller dressed in black did was use his flashlight and hit that elderly feller upside his head with it. I reckon it took his head clean off. That feller in black aint too good of a man.
Then I reckon there were some kind of outter space fight. I don't reckon I was too interested in that.
At this point I reckon it were snack time. I had me one of them tasty oatmeal cream pies. I reckon it suited me just fine. I reckon that somninabitch Walter Edmons went and tried to steal my carton of milk. That somninabitch loves milk and I reckon I woulda given er to em if he'da asked, but I don't reckon he ort to try and steal it. The good book says that Thou Art Not To Steal. I reckon that when I knocked him upside his head with my rolled up magazine I saved him from a eternal damnation in Hades. Some folks call it hell, but I call it Hades. I don't think it says nothing in the good book about knocking fellers upside the head with rolled up magazines. I reckon the good lord leaves those sorts of dealings to the local authorities. Not a whole lot they can do to me now, I reckon... me being in the nervous hospital already.
When we came back from our snack, that movie were still goin. I reckon that boy found his way into a swamp. I reckon I spent some time in a few swamps when I was a boy, chasing frogs and whatnot. I don't never hurt them frogs. Jest look at em.
Well that boy found him a frog. He were a big talkin frog wearing a bathrobe. I don't reckon I ever seen anything like that in any of the swamps I visited when I was a boy. I don't reckon I've seen anything like that et'all.
That frog went and taught that boy how to do magic tricks, and I reckon that was mighty interesting. I t'aint never been much for magic tricks myself. I reckon I tried to lift up the rec-room couch with out using my hands. I reckon that didn't fair too well. I reckon I couldn't budge it. Well, I just seen red. I reckon that made me madder than anything. I went and pushed over that couch with my hands. I reckon I took that Cheswick feller and that McMurphy feller over with it. I reckon that made them mighty mad. That McMurphy was hollerin at me something fierce. He were saying "Damn you Karl! Damn you, you crazy retard!"
I reckon that hurt my feelings. I reckon that's when I gave up on the magic tricks. That kind of stuff is for Lucifer anyway. I don't reckon I'm bitter about it. Not one bit.
When I stared watching that movie again, that feller dressed in black had that boy out on this walkway. I reckon that boy was mighty upset. He were cryin and fussin. I reckon I wanted to slap him upside his head. That feller in black was talking some nonsense about the universe. I don't reckon I understood most of that. But then that feller took his flashlight and went and cut off that boy's hand. I reckon that were a right wrong thing to do. He shouldn't'a notta done that to em. He were just a boy.
Then that one feller who's friends with that bigfoot feller, he got himself stuck in some concrete. I reckon that made me laugh. Reminded me of cartoons.
Then there were some things that I don't entirely recollect. I reckon that's for the better.
I remember that there was this one feller. He were mighty fat. I reckon he must've weighed over three hundred pounds. He were so fat he looked like a slug. That golden feller and that pretty girl and that trashcan man were hanging around. I reckon I don't know why they were there. Then that boy showed up and he had a new hand. I don't reckon I understand how. That pretty girl weren't wearin no clothes. I reckon that embarrassed me a fair bit.
Then that boy went and got all them fellers out of that place and I reckon they blew it up. That feller in the concrete knocked this other feller into this hole in the ground. I reckon that weren't no normal hole in the ground. There were snakes in it. I reckon that I wouldn't want to sleep in that hole. I reckon I'd just assume sleep in a tree instead. That feller in the concrete and that bigfoot helped this colored feller climb out the hole with the snakes. I reckon that was the Christian thing to do. Especially after knocking that first feller in. I reckon this all took place in a desert of some sort. I reckon I ain't never been to no desert. I reckon it were New Mexico or Arizona or one of them places. I don't got no call to go there anyway. Not especially with so many snakes. I don't reckon I think much of snakes. I don't reckon they think much of me either.
Then that boy went back to the swamp where he met that frog again. That part went and bored me. I went to the toilet again even though I didn't need to use it. I just set there and read my magazine again. There were this one part in the magazine where ye had to look at one picture and then another picture and figured out what's the difference between em. I reckon that kept me right entertained for some time.
When I come out of the toilet, I reckon that movie were almost over. Probably better. I reckon we'd been settin there watching er for onto six hours. I reckon my bottom was mighty sore from too much settin.
When I set back down, I reckon that boy, that bigfoot, that golden feller and that trashcan and that truckdriver feller who was in the concrete, they were all out in the woods. I reckon that's a right nice place to be. That part made me mighty happy. I reckon it would have been better had them woods not been overrun with crazy dogs. I don't reckon I'd want to be in a forest that had so many dogs in it. I reckon that'd make me mighty nervous.
I don't reckon I understood the rest of the movie much. I reckon I didn't really care. It were getting close to six and I reckon that Raymond feller would be wanting to watch his Wheel of Fortune show. I reckon that movie would have to come off anyways, or that Raymond would throw himself a fit. I don't reckon I like that Raymond feller. One time I whapped him upside his head with my magazine and I reckon he started screaming like no account. I reckon I ran outta there mighty fast. I didn't want to lose my biscuits and mustard fer the evening. I reckon that Raymond makes me right made when I look at him. That's why I go back in the toilet when he comes down from his room.
1) Full name: Karl Childers 2) Sex: M 3) Birthday: I reckon i was born some time ago 4) Height: I'm a pretty big feller 5) Weight: Im a pretty big feller 6) Hair color: I reckon what's left of it is brown 7) Eye color: blue 8) Ethnic background: Nervous Hospital 9) Birthplace: County Hospital 10) Hometown: Arkansas 11) Father's full name: Neil 12) Mother's full name: I reckon her name was momma 13) Sibling(s): just me
14) Song: I reckon I like that one bout that dog in the window. i reckon it suits me just fine 15) Band/singer: me 16) Actor: I don't got one 17) Actress: I don't reckon I got one of those either 18) Movie: I don't watch much of the TV 19) Book: The Bible 20) Author: I reckon I like Author Fonzereli just fine 21) Clothing brand name: don't know 22) Animal: I reckon I like dogs 23) Day of the week: tuesday. biscuits and mustard day 24) Color: I reckon blue suits me 25) Food: Biscuits and mustard. pottered meat, french fried potaters 26) Class in school: i didn't fair too well in school. 27) Store: Frosty Cream 28) City: I only been to one 29) Country: I reckon America suits me just fine 30) Vacation spot: outside 31) Sport: I reckon I like pinball just fine 32) Game [as in "board", or otherwise]: parchiese 33) Car: i can't drive 34) Internet site: I don't reckon I do much on the intreenet. I suppose it would be my journal 35) Ice cream flavor: vaniller 36) Season: spring 37) Month: may 38) Holiday: christmas 39) Number: 3 40) Cartoon: I reckon I like Blues Clues 41) TV show: don't watch much TV. 42) Fictional character: I don't know what you mean 43) Perfume/cologne: none 44) Hobby: I reckon I like to tinker with a lawnmower a fair bit 45) Flavor: I told ye, vaniller 46) Scent: pine 47) Quote: errrhmmm 48) Word: reckon
49) Hot or cold: cold 50) Sweet or sour: sweet 51) Spicy or bland: bland 52) Fast or slow: Slow 53) Black or white: White 54) Half-full or half-empty: i dont know what you're talking about 55) Long or short: short 56) More or less: I reckon i like it just how it iz 57) Soft or hard: same thing s8) Rough or smooth: smooth 59) Air, land or sea: land. i reckon if i were in the sea, i would drown. if i were in the air, i would fall. that doesnt suit me one bit 60) Light or dark: Dark 61) Straight or curly: straight 62) Straight or curvy: stright 63) Large or small: i dont reckon i care 64) Fat or thin: middle 65) E-mail or letter: i don't talk much to people. they don't usually have much to say to me 66) Phone or instant message: don't care 67) Day or night: day 68) Breakfast, lunch or dinner: i reckon dinner 69) Past, present or future: present. it's all we've got 70) Radio or CD: radio 71) MTV or VH1: i don't reckon I know what that is 72) Brush or comb: comb 73) Slide, see-saw or swings: see-saw 74) Doing or watching: watching 75) Mind or body: don't care 76) Consciousness, subconsciousness or unconsciousness: don't know 77) 78) Water or juice: water 79) Ocean or pool: none. can't swim 80) Treadmill or road: road 81) Speaker-phone or hand-held: don't got one 82) AIM or ICQ: i reckon it's AIM that's on this machine. 83) Rain or shine: shine 84) Cat or dog: dog 85) Innie or outie: don't know 86) Inside or outside: outside 87) Up/high or down/low: ? 88) Closet or dresser-drawers: dresser 89) Bed frame or only mattress: bed frame 90) Silver or gold: gold
91) Do you enjoy living in your town?: I reckon it suits me fine 92) Do you smoke?: no 93) Do you drink?: water and juice 94) How often do you shower?: three times a week 95) Do people you live with complain about the water bill because of the lengths of your showers?: I don't reckon I've heard much of a complaint from anyone. 96) Do you trust others easily?: yes 97) Have you ever lied to a friend?: no 98) Are you trustworthy?: yes 99) Are you anyone's secret-keeper?: yes 100) Are you a daredevil?: no 101) Have/would you skydive?: not that i can recolect 102) Have/would you bungee jump?: not that i can recolect 103) Have/would you play "Chicken"?: not that i can recolect 104) If granted one wish, what would it be?: I reckon I'd wish for some french fried potaters 105) Do you like to dance?: no 106) Which do you prefer -- slow or fast dancing?: no 107) Do you like to swim?: can't 108) Do you make friends easily?: i reckon I do alright 109) If so, where do you most often make friends?: in the yard 110) Do you color your hair?: not that i can recolect 111) Do you wear makeup?: not that i can recolect 112) Are you a person who lies a lot?: no 113) What religion do you practice, if any?: I reckon I follow the good book, which makes me a christian. 114) Do you like high heels?: not that i can recolect 115) Are you homophobic?: the good book says that a man ort not lay down with another man 116) Do you like to travel?: i reckon I like to get around 117) Granted you are American, have you ever been out of the state?: not that i can recolect 118) Do you own any pets?: no 119) Do you have a cell phone/pager?: not that i can recolect 120) Do like amusement parks?: not that i can recolect 121) If so, what is your favorite park/ride?: no 122) Do you collect anything?: no 123) Do you enjoy having your picture taken?: no 124) Do you keep your room/apartment/dorm clean?: yes 125) Do you get annoyed easily?: no 126) Would you consider yourself a depressed person?: no 127) Have you ever been to a concert?: not that i can recolect 128) If so, who/what did you see?: no 129) Have you ever performed in public?: not that i can recolect 130) Do you have any piercings?: no 131) Do you have any tattoos?: no 132) Do you dream often?: yes 133) Do you frequently daydream?: no 134) Do you have a job?: no 135) What was your first job?: none 136) Do you have any health problems?: they tell me I'm criminally insane. 137) Are you a vegetarian?: no 138) Have you ever been in a crash?: not that i can recolect 139) Have you ever had a near-death experience: I killed three people 140) Have you ever won anything?: not that i can recolect 141) Do you play a musical instrument?: no 142) Have you ever had someone close to you die?: I plum near cut my momma's head off with a keiser blade. some folks call it a sling blade, but I call it a keiser blade 143) Have you ever broken a bone?: yes 144) Have you ever had stitches?: yes 145) Do you have any scars?: yes 146) Have you ever had major surgery?: I reckon they took out my apendix. 147) What is your earliest memory?: I reckon it was finding my brother 148) Have you ever gotten in a physical fight?: yes 149) What is your dream job?: I don't reckon I have one 150) Do you plan on having kids?: no 151) What phrase do you use the most?: reckon 152) Have you met/do you know anyone famous?: not that i can recolect 153) Do you carry a wallet/purse?: no. just my books 154) Have you ever baby-sat?: not that i can recolect 155) In what position do you sleep?: i reckon I sleep on my back a fair bit 156) Have you ever fallen asleep on someone else's bed?: not that i can recolect 157) Have you ever fallen asleep on someone else?: no 158) Do you put on a front for anyone?: not that i can recolect 159) Do you cry?: not that i can recolect 160) Do you have a pen-pal?: no 161) If so, how long have you been communicating?: no 162) Do you have friends in other parts of the world?: no 163) Have you ever gotten in trouble with the police?: I reckon I was arrested when I killed them folks 164) Have you ever committed a felony?: yes 165) Do you believe in fate?: no 166) Have you ever been skinny-dipping?: not that i can recolect 167) Do you believe in yourself?: i suppose 168) What kind of pin-ups do you have on your walls?: none 169) What is the background on your computer screen of?: i don't understand 170) What languages do you know?: i reckon I know american 171) Have you ever visited another country?: not that i can recolect 172) Have you ever needed to call 911?: yes. the feller by the name of Doyle Hardgraves told me to call and tell em they needed to send an ambulance. then I cut his head in two
I recon this means I can chat every so often. Just so long as that Multiple Miggs doesn't take advantage of the computer all afternoon. I get right tired of waiting for him to get offer it. He just sits there lookin at things I ort not mention in the presense of womenfolk. I recon it's quite disturbing. I just wait my turn. I don't recon I like to sit in the chair that Miggs was sitting in after he used it. I don't recon that's a pleasant experience.
Anyways. I spose if ye want to talk to me, send me a message, and I recon I can talk back at ye.
I found a dead squirrel in the yard today. I recon it were killed by a dog or a cat or something. I don't recon it had much of a chance against an animal like that. Most of the smaller animals don't. there are a lot of dogs and cats around this place. I recon they make quite a bit of sport of squirrels. I recon they make quite a bit of sport of me, chasing me around and barking and whatnot. One of them dogs bit me on my head and plum near took my ear off. I yelled at it and told it to leave me alone but it didn't listen. I recon it didn't listen too good. I recon that dogs aren't much fer listening because one time I told a dog to get me a biscuit from the table and it went and ate the biscuit it's own self. I figure it muster been hungrier than I was, but that weren't the right way to go about getting food. I recon I kicked that dog in it's head. That weren't the right way to go about punishing that dog, but I recon I was right angry.
They sent me to bed without my biscuits and mustard. I recon I deserved that a fair bit.
They showed us a movie in the hospital. I reckon it was a reward for us. we done the best in the hospital basket weaving contest. i reckon our baskets were best. I ain't looking to be better than no one else. I just like to weave baskets.
The movie they played for us was mighty peculiar. it featured this one feller who was trying to take advatage of the little girls in his school. I don't think I understood a lot of it but I reckon I understood the important parts. The feller who starred was a feller by the name of Jim. He goes to school with some other fellers and they all want to take advantage of girls in the school. A fair bit of it was funny but there was a fair bit of it that I didn't understand. The movie starts off with this Jim character watchin a dirty movie and it pretty well goes on like that for the whole movie. I reckon that you can figger out the rest. There were some strange parts that I didn't quite understand. Like when the feller put his pecker in the pie. Sometimes movies are too strange for me to understand but I reckon I understand enough of em to get by.
There was this one lady who carried around with her a flute. I reckon she was in the band. She said she was going put her flute in her pussy but I dont reckon that's a right nice thing to do to a cat. There was this also this part where this feller had to use the toilet but I reckon he didn't want to use the facilities in the school but he felt he had to go on and use em, and another feller tricked him into usin the females bathroom. that was a right cruel trick. I remember when I was in school and the fellers used to make a bit of sport with me. One time this one feller by the name of Harvey Walker made me eat a bit of dog droppings. I don't reckon I like to think about that none, so don't ask me anymore.